Ode to Joel

I know what heartache is

It is pain that begins with loss

Something or someone

Is suddenly absent

Emptiness rushes in to

Take their place

It is like a burning hunger

But deep in your chest

This pain is connected

But also its own thing

Every nerve tells me I have

Found someone I lost

From a time only barely

Remembered, like a dream

And I know I could not

Survive this loss again

Thousands of tiny events

Flutter around like autumn leaves

Your unremitting words

Describing the world or merely

Mumbling in sleep, the dialogue

Apparent though the words are not

And your sudden bursts into song -

Perfectly, miraculously in tune

I have sat for hours, listening

Drinking you in, trying hard

To capture each delicious second

As you sang to me

In the living room, or on stage

Then you sang Undone

And I remembered the pain

That is coming for me

Every song after that
Reminded me you are leaving

And taking the beautiful music

Of your words and your singing

Away from me, back to the island
I used to be content alone but

When you left for just a few hours

The house was painfully quiet

Pain and love are the theme

Even at night, after five years alone

I find myself fifteen years old again
My girlhood magically renewed

I do remember my old lovers

But they are sepia images now
Your brilliance has faded them

Into indistinct shadows

You are a force of nature

And you frighten me a little

Gentle and sweet beyond words

Growling and biting the next moment

Saying unspeakable things

Some crude and rough
Others nakedly romantic
Doing all of it for me, for us

I understand who you are

Having known you so long
Yet, you were a sketch

Now the lines are filled in

The colors fleshed out

And it will hurt me to my core

To take my eyes off this

Beautiful painting