Carbo Loading

A few days after Christmas
The candy’s nearly gone;
No more bread and no more sweets -
This season’s work is done.

My waistband? Somewhat tighter.
My legs? A little slow.
I find, though, when I run now,
My energy’s not low.

I read that carbo loading
A few days’ time before,
Helps me run efficiently
And makes my legs less sore.

The reason I feel heavy:
With carbs comes water, too.
(That’s why they’re “carbohydrates.”)
My muscles gush, “Thank you.”

Note to self - Austin soiree:
Prepare as if on holiday.

Fun Christmas Facts (or, It's a Man's World, So Slap 'Em if You Got 'Em)

At my weight and speed, I burn approximately
85 calories per mile.

At Tim’s weight and speed, he burns
approximately 90 calories per mile.

It takes 3,500 calories to burn off one pound of fat.

To lose one pound without dieting, I have to
run a little over 41 miles.

To lose one pound without dieting, Tim has to run just
under 39 miles. (Remember, he runs faster, so he’s
finished about 2 hours and 45 minutes before I am.)

The average Christmas dinner, including two
glasses of wine, is around 2,000 calories.

To maintain my weight, I can eat up to 1,972 calories in
an entire day. So, to avoid gaining weight, I must give
Tim part of one of my two measly glasses of wine from
Christmas dinner. Forget eggnog; although I consider
it to be the nectar of the gods, I must avoid it
if I don’t want to look like Buddha.

Tim can eat 2,559 calories a day to maintain his weight.
That means he can add part of my glass of wine, a slice
of blueberry pie, and two spiked eggnogs and he’s still
under his required calories. In the alternative,
he gets to eat breakfast. I get to watch him.

You . . .

MEN.

The Creep-Sweepers

On a cold New Year’s morning, my sweet young love dovers,
While your head’s deep asleep in your warm storm of covers,
The magical, tragical, drastical, fantastical
Creep-sweepers are priming their time-sucking drubbers.

They’ll silently float to the crown of the ocean
Where they’ve stayed far away from the throngs and commotion.
Their tubers and poobers will hang down below them
As they leap from the waves with an effortless motion.

They’ll click and they’ll clack as they tick and they tock.
They will streak as they sip worn-out time from the clocks.
In an instant they’ll scrub, drub and schlub out the time,
Till their tubers are stuffed and their poobers are stocked.

As mom and dad know, they’re a wonderful sight
As they whiz and they whuz and they whoop through the night.
They’ll take all the old, leave the new, bid adieu,
Then they’ll flee to the sea from the height of their flight.

Christmas morning is boring compared with the glee
Of gazillions of creep-sweepers out on a spree.
So, you green ones, you teen ones, you wee bitty-bean ones,
Stay awake New Year’s Eve and just see what you see.

Benefits

This intense journey has sent me many unexpected places - within myself and outside myself. I’m carrying less baggage, less weight – in body, in mind. I’ve lost 25 pounds. I am now a person who can run 18 miles all at once. I can’t quite believe that, but it’s true. Soon, I’ll be someone who can run 26.2 miles. I find I want to hang on to that ability. I don’t want to go back to the way I was before – fat, eating and drinking too much, feeling bad, not spending enough time taking care of myself.

I’ve also been able to experience the journey vicariously, through Mom and everyone in the tribe who posts, but especially through Tim. He’s in shape now and he’s started lifting weights for real. He told me that he used to lift a number of years ago, and I have always been able to see the ghost of that in his chest and back, but now – good grief, I can hardly believe what I see. It’s exciting, even a little scary. He’s begun to look cut and he’s getting BIG.

It’s a cliché, but I'll be damned if it isn’t true – we’re like a couple of kids in a candy store. It’s made me think I should drag my own weights out of the garage and I’m going to do that, tonight, and start using them. I want to keep up.

Feeling Healthy

A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.
- Pooh's Little Instruction Book

Exercise ferments the humors, casts them into their proper channels, throws off redundances, and helps nature in those secret distributions, without which the body cannot subsist in its vigor, nor the soul act with cheerfulness.
- Joseph Addison

Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!
- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"


This is a dangerous time of the year. The weather outside is, well ... frightful. Alcohol and holiday food are everywhere. Cold and flu germs hide on every surface. As I lie in my warm little bed under my down comforter, somewhere within me resides the desire to hibernate, to conserve my energy, to store my self-heating fat.

I’m currently on schedule with my running to complete my marathon. I’m healthy right now and dang it, I refuse to get less so. Screw all potential saboteurs. I resolve to:

1. Get enough sleep.
2. Abstain from drinking alcohol.
3. Drink enough water.
4. Wear warm enough clothing when I run.
5. Get my rear-end out in the freezing cold and do my required miles.

I will do these things because I know they will keep my attitude positive. Each time I do these things, doing them again will be easier.

C'mon tribe: Do 'em with me, won't you?

Yummmm.

A personal trainer once spake
When passing me by on the street,
Saying fat in our bodies is not
All where you can see it; a lot
Is hidden within your red meat
Like a marbled and juicy rare steak.

I thought, how delicious!
I must be nutritious!
And for me, how propitious -
I can eat all I want and not gain a pound.
I think this idea completely profound,
But my thighs both think it seditious.